As I channel or internet surf or even window shop, I see ad after ad about getting that special gift for that special person on Valentine’s Day. When I was married or had a significant other, I too, fell into the trap of wanting to get something special for my man for the occasion or even wondered what I’d be getting for the occasion. I get it! I really do – I’ve been there.
It’s really special when you get Valentine’s Day flowers at work and so freaking romantic when you find that cute blue gift box propped on your pillow after you get home from work. The sole purpose of Valentine’s Day is for lovers to demonstrate their love for one another.
Well what happens when February 14th rolls around and you find yourself without a special someone? One year (of many), I found myself in this very position and you know what I did? I boycotted Valentine’s Day. Yep, sure did! My friends, Eve and Danielle, with myself decided that we weren’t going to participate in this Tom Foolery of a holiday.
Two weeks prior to Valentine’s Day, we made plans to take a Mental Health day from work. We agreed that they’d come over to my house for lunch and we’d watch movies and have dinner delivered from a nearby Italian restaurant. We didn’t want any part of the hoopla or to bear witness as the flower delivery guy made delivery after delivery past our office doors.
As the 14th of February inched closer, Eve, who’d been dabbling in online dating, received a ‘like’ from a guy who’d piqued her interest; that very day, she emailed him and they exchanged numbers. On February 13th they made plans for dinner on Valentine’s Day. That evening, she sent me a text that read: Can’t make it tomorrow – I have a date 😊. What! This woman calls me when This Is Us shows a rerun and now, she texts me that she has a date for Valentine’s Day. What were we? Chopped liver!! She knew she was wrong for that and that’s why she sent a lame text! She was too afraid to face us! She hadn’t had a date in over a year, so I couldn’t be mad at her. I was beginning to think that she should ask for a refund from the online dating site.
No problem! I still had my other friend, Danielle, who doesn’t do any online dating, but she is a self-proclaimed Social Media Crusher. For all of you who don’t know what that is, let me explain. A Social Media crusher is a person who is obsessed with someone’s IG feed, Facebook posts or both (usually both). She follows them on all Social Media sites and gets ‘in her feelings’ when they post a picture with other females.
One time, one of her Crushes mentioned that he was going to Cancun for vacation and Danielle called to ask me if I wanted to go to Cancun with her so that ‘we’ could meet this him (by accident). I literally had to beat some sense into her.
One of Danielle’s crushes worked in our building and y’all won’t believe this. The week of Valentine’s Day, Danielle & I were on the elevator leaving work and who walks in. Yes, Alan, live and in color. I looked over at Danielle and she was staring up at the back of the man’s head. Her crush was a mere foot away from her and she was in a trance-like state. I had to elbow her back into reality.
Alan was talking to another guy about going to grab something to eat from the Sprouts Supermarket next door and turned to me and asked if I’d ever shopped there. I told him I hadn’t, but Danielle gets her salads from there all the time. When we stepped out of the elevator, he asked Danielle about the salad bar. I had to elbow her again to get her to answer. When she finally did, she said she was thinking about getting a salad herself and that she didn’t mind meeting him there to assist in his salad selection. What a smooth move! I was so proud of her. It was kinda creepy though that Alan was oblivious to the fact that Danielle knew so much about him – but he was delighted to have someone assist with his dinner. Men!
In this particular year, Valentine’s Day fell on a Friday, so Thursday as I was looking for Danielle to show her the text that I’d received from Eve, I see Danielle and Alan in the break room. Why was he in our break room, he didn’t work on our floor! They were standing close together, with their backs turned, looking out of our 4th floor window. I couldn’t hear him well, but I thought he was saying something about picking her up at six o’clock. I was excited for her, so I made my presence known. My excitement faded when she said, “Hey Vanessa, Alan just asked me out for Valentine’s Day!”
You have got to be kidding me?
Ok, I know y’all can relate when I said “REALLY!” (only in my head though). Out loud, I said, “Oh! That’s wonderful! Where y’all going?” He went on to say that since it was too late to make reservations at a nice restaurant that he would be making dinner for her at his place. (In my head again, “REALLY?!”) I told them that I hope they had fun and excused myself to go back to work. I didn’t see Danielle again that day and didn’t have a chance to tell her that Eve had canceled.
February 14th – Valentine’s Day dawned, bright and early. I had already notified my boss that I was taking a mental health day, so when my alarm clock buzzed, I hit the ‘off’ button instead of the usual ‘snooze’ button. I laid back down and as I drifted in the space between sleep and wakefulness, I made mental plans to show myself some love for Valentine’s Day. I made the decision to be happy no matter what the day would bring.
I finally got out of the bed at 8am and prepared to face the day. At the time, I lived in Florida, and the weather was mild enough for a walk, so I put on my track suit and drove to the park. I set my Ipod to my favorite playlist and walked around the 2.5 mile track with Aretha Franklin, Mary J. Blige, Whitney Houston and TLC singing songs that evoked memories of my CrazySexyCool days. After I finished my walk, I sat next to the playground and watched the kids play with wild abandonment like only kids do.
As their laughter littered the air, I closed my eyes and imagined my kid-self playing right along side them. I smiled as I saw myself sailing through the air on the swings and getting mega dizzy on the merry-go-round! My stomach soon reminded me that I hadn’t eaten breakfast and it was at that moment that I heard the sweet song of the ice cream truck.
What! Ice cream at 10am? Don’t judge me? This was MY Mental Health day! As I made my way to the truck, I’d already made up my mind that I wanted a Dreamsicle. Y’all remember those, right? They have orange sherbet on the outside and vanilla ice cream in the center. I got to the truck and was flabbergasted by the available choices this truck had. I was really torn between the Dreamsicle and the drumstick. I ended up with both and was feeling generous, so I purchased ice cream treats for all of my new friends on the playground (with their parent’s permission, of course). Since I didn’t want to be the only adult eating ice cream for Brunch, I encouraged the other adults to join me. It didn’t take much encouragement!
I left the playground feeling full of ice cream and great morning memories and wondered what I could find on Netflix to watch that was not indicative of the day I’m choosing to boycott. I decided while I was in the shower that I’d have a Sci-Fi viewing experience. I thought about the Twilight Trilogy but decided that it was too lovey/dovey for me, so I settled for a Marvel Movie Marathon. In the span of 6 hours, I watched Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, X-Men, Iron Man and the Avengers.
Now, while the movies were on, I pampered myself with a pedicure, facial, and a scalp massage with this weird looking massage contraption that I’d gotten for Christmas the year before. I ordered a late lunch/early dinner from my favorite Italian restaurant. As the delivery driver was leaving, he said I was lucky to be staying in because rush hour started early with all the Valentine’s Day traffic. I thought about his statement for a while and said to myself, “I agree! I am lucky because although nice, I didn’t need a significant other to make me happy on that day. I made myself happy.”
Sometimes we need to take time to be kind to ourselves and take Mental Health breaks when we want to instead of when we have to.
When I said earlier that I had boycotted Valentine’s Day, that’s exactly what I did. I went to bed by 9pm and did not see any advertisements about the day. The only thing coming close was the packaging from the delivery driver. So, if you’re in between relationships this Valentine’s Day, don’t sweat it – Boycott It!
Have you ever made plans with friends, only to be ditched at the last minute when they found dates?
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I think every single person has boycotted the big V Day. My freshman & sophomore year of college, my roommates and I would gather after class and go to the movies, dinner & maybe a party and not even think about romance – it’s now dubbed ‘Gal-entines,’ and a super fun alternative to those with a significant other. When I was dating my now husband, it was a game to see who could be more creative with long distance gifts & packages (me, of course). Whether you showcase self love or romance, have fun!
I love how you made a choice to have a great day even though your friends ditched you for dates! When you treated the playground kids to ice cream, you made the day better for others, too. Valentines day or not, we all could use a day of pampering ourselves once in a while.
This post had a lot of humor in it! I loved it! Self Care is so important. And you handled it all so very well. In our out of a relationship, Valentine’s is so over rated to me! Love is not just about a man and woman in a relationship..it’s about family, friends, pets the world around us, but most importantly ourselves! So ya, Valentine’s can definitely be made just about you dating yourself. <3
Oh my what a story! I love that you took the whole day off from work and spent it doing fun things. Great ideas.
🙂 gwingal
I love how real this is! I’m glad you pampered yourself though
Chopped Liver!! LOL! I thought I was the only person that says that! And your boss is pretty cool for you to call in for a mental health day. I wish I could do that with my boss lol!
Love how you handled making the day an amazing one despite not having your girlfriends around.
I think taking the day off to do what you want, and not be bombarded with all that “love” stuff (haha) is great! I am such a rebel when it comes to “Days” where the world tells me I have to celebrate something. I find that I appreciate gifts so much more when they aren’t “required” by a certain “day.” Anyway, good for you – boycotting V-day! : )
In our house, (which is often full of children of varying ages and relationship statuses), we always try to make Valentine’s Day about love in general, not romantic love. So that could mean sending great-grandmas a Valentine’s card, or baking our neighbour some Valentine cookies. And it works! The kids all have a blast. And their fill of yummies too. 🙂
Love this….you became your own true Valentine..more valuable than anything.
OMG! I love this! I haven’t been single on Valentine’s day in over 9 years but I sooo enjoyed reading this! I love how you turned what others would see as a bad thing into a day for YOURSELF. Valentine’s Day is about LOVE… self-love included 😉
Sorry your friends bailed, but good for you for taking the day off! My husband and I never go big on Valentine’s Day, and this year my focus is on hosting a Galentine’s Day brunch! Haha
Sorry your friends bailed, that’s the worst! Valentine’s day is just about feeling the love, even if it’s self love, so good for you girl. I haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day in probably 16 years haha but my husband’s birthday is the day before so we don’t really celebrate or give gifts…our tradition is Chinese take out and I always look forward to it!
I fully support both Valentine’s Day boycotts and ice cream for breakfast. Lol.
I think there was an idea going around a long time ago now. That singles can have Valentines Days too.
Such a wonderful post. We’ve boycotted Valentine’s Day for 5 years now and are still happy.
What a fun post to read! It’s hard to believe that BOTH friends got last-minute dates for Valentine’s Day and ended up canceling. But I’m so glad you enjoyed your day, anyway. It sounds like a great one. ❤️
I’ve boycotted V-Day many times, be I single or in a relationship (Hubby and I just didn’t feel it at times). But we did have a nice dinner at home and give each other an extra snuggle. Enjoyed your post and the grace you gave your friends!
You had me at 10am ice cream!
I was never a fan of V-day until Self-care came along <3
We don’t celebrate and have never felt left out, lol. Great post!
I love your energy in this post. I’ve been married for 28 years and we boycott Valentine’s Day every year. We do really love the day after when we can get 50-75% off chocolates, however! Those unsold heart boxes could be turtle shells for all we care, we just love discounted chocolates! 🙂 I love, love, love your playlist choices, and The Incredible Hulk would be at the top of my viewing list for sure! Loving yourself all day long is a total SUPER POWER!
Lol oh I boycotted Valentine’s Day for several years! I remember the day was always very awkward so I just didn’t partake in any of the activities and stayed away from lovey couples that day lol
A day alone pampering yourself sounds fantastic!
Great post! This is a humorous story with real truth! Self care is important . Even with a husband I hate going out on Valentines Day. It is too busy!
Valentine’s day can be difficult for a lot of people!
What a great day you had! I loved your plan!
Good way to make it into a positive situation!
Sorry to hear that your friends bailed, but your day sounds wonderful 🙂 How sweet of you to treat everyone at the park to ice cream, too!
Love your approach! And that you had ice cream at 10am haha
Ice cream at 10am? Heck yes!!! That’s my kind of day! Good on you for just doing you and taking the time to chill.
That sounds like a perfect Valentines Day! or any day for that matter!!
Valentine’s day for my husband and I has always been about family. I do something sweet for the kids and I always get my husband something new for hiking. No flowers or jewelry for me, thank you very much. Loved this post.
I love this post. I was almost expecting you were going to be asked out by the ice cream guy or the delivery guy! lol!! I heard on the radio today, that 18% of women will buy themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day! That makes sense to me!
I love this and that you chose self care! It is so important 🙂
Very clever! You probably had a more enjoyable day than your two friends did on their dates! 🙂
I did!
This is such a great post. The marketing activities on Valentine’s Day are not geared towards Singles at all. I love how you navigated through the day (even if your friends bailed out).
Boycott Valentine’s Day! You hit it on the mark! As I was reading, I was starting to get worried you were going to have a bad Feb. 14th. But you turned it around and made it an all about you day! Awesome! BTW Happy Early Valentine’s Day!
Yay for you!!!! Good job. I’ve not had a date in years and am SO happy to leave this commercial holiday for people in love. I do have to concede enough to help my kids make valentine cards for their school mates. LOL
I think that was the best part as a parent (when my kids were young anyway). I loved doing Valentines crafts with them.
IMO, Valentine’s Day is overrated like many ‘holidays.’ While everyone is different, I have been married for 18 years and we do not celebrate anymore. I would rather do what you did because at least I would be happier doing the things I want to do instead of doing things he wants to do. I think it goes the same for my husband – it is just how life is now. Don’t need a holiday to ‘celebrate’ ‘date’ or ‘hang out’.
Amen to that sister!