SURVIVING – The Lifetime Movie Train Wreck

Hey friends,

This weekend I sat down and watched that Lifetime movie train wreck. If you don’t know what I’m referring to this post may not be for you.  But if you’re curious enough to look it up, just google “Surviving” and the first two hits will tell you who and what I’m referring.

That was countless hours that I cannot get back, but it was like I was trapped in this cycle of disbelief.  I kept saying to myself “this cannot be real, parents and grown women cannot be that gullible”. At the end of the series, all I could say is, “Lord have mercy on those girls and on those parents.”

There are several tragedies in this Lifetime docu-series, but the most outrageous tragedy is the truth of the matter is that if these were not girls of color, this mega-money producing engine would have been shut down or incarcerated a long time ago (PERIODT)! At one point, they interviewed a juror from the child pornography trial and he said, “We just couldn’t believe those women.”  The way he said it just oozed contempt and distaste.

 I’m not calling anyone racist; what I’m saying is that there was a blatant disregard for the lives of the black girls affected by this Pied Piper.   This docu-series chronicled girl after girl lured by fame, a nice smile and smooth lines.  It chronicled families choosing to believe that the “Not Guilty” meant “Not Guilty” instead of the real meaning of “The family was paid off, so he goes free.”

I have young adult daughters and as I watched the show, I couldn’t help but empathize with the parents. At some point in your child’s life, your voice will lessen and other voices will become louder. It’s inevitable. On the show, it showed parents who were engaged in their daughter’s lives, and still yet the girls were lured in by this man.  This was even after he went on trial for child pornography.  This indicated that the parents’ voices were lessened and that others’ voice whispered the things the girls wanted to hear.

What could those parents have done differently, if anything? After all, one mother stated that her daughter told her that if she didn’t allow her to go to the man, that she was going to go anyway.  At that time, the girl was 17. I asked myself that same question because my daughter will be 17 in a few months.   My first reaction would be to lock her up in the room. Don’t laugh, y’all were thinking the same thing. I suppose that would be illegal, so what’s next?

Being a person of faith, I pray and celebrate the blessings that God has bestowed upon me.  One of the many blessings God has given to me were my children.  I believe that I’ve raised them to know that no matter what they do or where they go, that God is always with them.  I want them to know that when they can’t talk to me, that they could always talk to God. 

You may be saying to yourself, “My children can talk to me about anything.” It’s good to think that, but the reality is that there are things your children may be too embarrassed to talk to you about or they may not want to disappoint you.  Can you recall your teenage and young adult years?  Could you or did you tell your mother or father everything?

Knowing they could talk to God about any situation is the starting point, but I also pray for my girls to have a discerning spirit. Having a Spirit of Discernment means to be familiar enough with the Word of God that they instantly recognize what is contrary to it. In other words, if someone is trying to get them to do some crazy BS like having sex with them on video tape, keep them away from loved ones or debase them in anyway, that they will immediately recognize the fact that this person and those actions are not in line with the Word of God.

Friends, we all want to be loved.  Some of us want to be loved by millions and willing to do anything to get that love.  I hope my girls have the ability recognize the wolf in sheep’s clothing and to not only call him out on his actions, but to point him out to others who may not have recognized the wolf for who he is.

There were so many instances to the show that people (men & women) knew the wolf existed but didn’t warn others of its existence.  What the heck was that about?  Did the money trump all sensibilities?   Sadly, it seems like it did!  If one person in that camp cared more about doing the right thing instead of the next paycheck, lives could’ve been changed for the better. Instead, people cared more about the money, the connections and the fame and in the end, young black girls suffered.

As parents of young people, I pray that all of us pass on these three things to our children:

1. Let them know that even if they can’t talk to you, they can always talk to God and ask him for help, comfort or direction. He will not only answer their prayers, but if they listen, He will guide them back to safety.
2. Let them know that they have and can tap into their spirit of discernment. Intuition is real and given to us by God in the form of discernment. If it doesn’t feel right in your gut, that’s God whispering, “Don’t go! Don’t do it! That’s not right!”
3. Let them know that it’s alright to warn people of the evil that they’ve encountered or almost fell for (But God). Tell them that not everyone will listen, but everyone has ears. That means that even though it might fall on deaf ears, to shout their truth anyway.

There’s a saying that goes, “There’s two sides to every story and then there’s the truth.” We may never know the truth in this whole bizarre situation, but what we do know is that parents have lost their daughters, women have lost their identities, children have lost their father (it appears) and everything that comes with that and a wife must deal with the knowledge of her husband’s proclivities.

At the end of the day friends, we need to recognize that singers, movie executives, actors and ball players are human and inherently flawed. We can’t always trust them to take our children to the next level just because they’ve made it. We can, however, trust God and his ability to level-up anybody in any situation. Ask Fantasia.  Let’s pledge to do better by all  children (black, white or brown)  and  hold  people (black, white or brown) accountable  for  the  evil  they perpetrate.

Friends, leave me a comment if you agree, disagree or want to add your two cents to the conversation.