If you have not had the chance to check out the first 4 episodes of my adventures with Jill; you can find them here: Post 1, Post 2, Post 3, Post 4. It’s been a crazy ride so far!
When we last left off , Jill & I had just left her house (Oh My Goodness! Hoarder or Collector, y’all tell me?) and on the way to the park. As we were traveling along I-285, I had just revealed to Jill that I’d suffered from post-partum depression years ago and that I understood what she was going through. I ended the story just as we reached the park on Lenora Church Road.
As we exited the car, I said to Jill, “just because you have an illness, it shouldn’t define who you are.” She thought about it a minute and said, “Huh, I never thought about it like that.” I said, “Well, you should! Your life may change because of the illness, but the quality of life should remain despite the illness!”
On the way to the picnic tables to put on her shoes, Jill saw a huge snail on the sidewalk. I came over to look at it and asked Jill to get down for a closer look. There we were, two middle-aged women on all fours, looking at a darn snail (I’m glad nobody was around to witness this spectacle).
“The snail’s shell is its burden to bear,” I said; “It doesn’t stop him from getting to his destination; he simply gets there in his own time and probably happy about it”. Jill said, “Yeah, you got a point there. I suppose we all have burdens to bear”.
YA’ THINK! That is the point I was trying to get across.
Sometimes when we’re in a crisis, we feel alone and think that our problems are unique. The truth is, everyone is dealing with something, but that problem shouldn’t stop us from reaching our destination.
This was my first visit to Lenora Church Park and I wanted to see if it would be a good place for walking or running (if I felt inspired). Jill and I started at the baseball fields. There was a track that ran along the perimeter of the park and the ball fields were a good starting spot. I suggested that we start with some stretching exercises since we hadn’t exercised in a while and needed to prepare our muscles for the activity.
We started with some toe touches and windmills and from the groans coming from Jill’s direction, she definitely needed to stretch. We ended with a full body stretch, reaching for the sky with the fingers and standing on tip-toes holding it for a 10 count. I challenged Jill to pay attention to her body and notice if something was painful or sore or even if it felt good to stretch in a certain way. When we were properly stretched out, we begin our walk. The trail was evenly paved and not heavily populated, so we decided to walk at a slow pace at the start.
While walking, we noticed a lake with ducks waddling alongside it; children running in the grass, chasing each other; couples holding hands as they whispered into each other’s ears; flowers blooming and the fragrance of the freshly mowed grass. I stopped Jill and asked her to notice these things not collectively, but one by one. I encouraged her to allow her eyes to massage the images and her ears to absorb the sounds of each activity happening around us. As we walked, I told her to inhale as deeply as she could and exhale until all the breath left her lungs. We did this on several occasions and Jill looked quizzically at me, as if saying, “Really, why!”
I explained to Jill that deep breathing is the quickest and easiest way to release toxins from your body. I told her that it is a proven fact that deep breathing relieves stress, anxiety and depression. At one point during the walk, we sat on a bench and watched the dogs playing in the dog park.
As we sat there watching dogs chasing each other, balls and frisbees, I informed Jill that what we were practicing Mindfulness – a mindful meditation exercise. I let her know that Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Jill asked me what could practicing Mindfulness possibly do for her? I laughed, not at her, but because I had been asked that question so many times by people who’ve experienced the benefits of mindfulness and wasn’t even aware of it. I’ve practiced mindfulness exercises many times and I like introducing others to it – So, I call it Mindfulness Coaching.
I told her that sometimes people spend too much time thinking negative thoughts and rarely allow their minds to slow down and focus on one thing intentionally. Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention(mind) on the present moment—and accepting it without judgment. We’d walked maybe a mile and I told Jill that during the walk, I noticed her whole appearance change with every step. She looked more relaxed and as she practiced the deep breathing, she moved more fluidly and as we watched the dogs and listened to the children playing, she smiled more freely. I asked Jill, did she feel different from the time we’d exited the car until that moment? She confessed that she had but thought it was because she had met an old friend.
I laughed again and said, “Jill, we weren’t friends in high school, so don’t give me that much credit.” I told Jill that mindfulness meditation has been proven to reduce stress, decrease depression, regulate emotions, lower blood pressure, lowers anxiety and increases attention and focus and many other health benefits.
We walked down by the swimming pool areas and stopped to watch a group of elderly people doing water exercises. I told Jill that those simple water exercises are not only beneficial for their bodies, but it is also good for their minds and that she should consider incorporating some form of exercise into her life. It was Jill’s turn to laugh then. As she laughed, Jill said, “Vanessa, are you saying I need to work out?” I said, “I think everybody needs movement in their life – movement and mindfulness!”
By this time, my stomach was really talking to me and I told Jill that it was well past lunch time and that we should get something to eat. Walking back to the car, we saw that same snail. It had travel maybe 6 feet in 2 hours. Jill wondered aloud if she should help the snail to the pond? I asked her if she knew for sure that the snail was going to the pond? I said, “Don’t assume you know where someone is going based on their direction – they maybe taking the scenic route!”
This is the end of my Adventures with Jill today. If you enjoyed reading about my newly formed friendship with Jill and think your friends would like to read about these adventures, please share this post.
If you’ve never heard of Mindfulness Meditation, I only told you a few of the benefits. To find out more about this amazing practice, visit Psychology Today and get ready to have your mind blown! Don’t forget to subscribe to find out what happens when my Adventures with Jill continues. Until next time…….Cheers!
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I trully could relate to this post. Practicing mindfulness is something that I have been working on what my therapist. I even have scheduled alarms on my phone to remind me to take a deep breath. It’s made quite a difference in my life so thanks for sharing.
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. At times we all need reminders to slow down and just breathe.
I love the part about, “Should we help the snail to the pond.” As moms, I think we sometimes try to “help our snails to the pond” and that wasn’t where they were going…or even supposed to go. This one made me think. Thank you.
You are so welcomed. I enjoy writing about our adventures.
Love reading Jill’s story, I agree we shouldn’t let our illness to define us
Amen!
nice story and great photos
Thank you so much!
Good words, good advice. I hope she’s doing better.
Making progress every day. Thank you.
This is something I am working hard on. Thank you for sharing this story!
You are so welcomed.
Love this! It’s very inspiring. “Stop and smell the roses,” or in this case, “stop and check out the snail!”
Absolutely. Its important to slow down and be present – especially with kids and parents!
I love your thoughts on this. I’m actually trying to be mindful of eating. It’s easy to be in a rush and just grab something and stuff it in my face. But then I never feel satisfied. So I’ve tried to slow down, STOP multi-tasking, and just enjoy the food. Old trick, I know, but it’s helped me!
Yes..I try to do mindful eating as well. It makes a difference.
WOW! I have to make it a point to intentionally practice mindfulness. I loved the scenario with the snail, and even not making an assumption on where it was going. This was such an inspirational read. I’m so happy that I came across this post.
Thank you so much!
My word of the year last year was Mindful. I have been practicing mindfulness and meditating for over a year and I can attest to the positive affects I’ve been experiencing! A sense of calmness, letting go of things quickly, not carrying so much stress and worry – it’s been huge! Good for you for sharing this with Jill and I love how you got your points across during your outing. Sounds like a special day!
It didn’t start off so well, but it turned around later on.
What a lovely message. I especially loved how you said “just because you have an illness, it shouldn’t define who you are.” How true!! We are all so complex that no one thing makes or breaks our identity. What a great thing to remember
Yes, it is so important to realize that an illness should run our lives completely.
Such a thoughtful and relaxing read. It caused me to really reflect on mindfulness and how I can practice it in my life.
Thank you for reading!
I love what you had to say here! It can be so isolating when we’re struggling with a a challenge and it’s helpful to know we’re not alone because everyone struggles sometimes! Also liked what you said about not knowing where the snail was going and not assuming.
Yes, we want people to know that they’re not alone and that help is available. Thank you for reading.
Ooh, I’ve missed out on the previous ‘episodes’ with Jill and I feel like I really have missed a lot!. I really must come back to catch up. I have enjoyed reading this and it reminds me so much of my friendship with an old work colleague who fell ill recently.
Best ‘feel good’ post I’ve read today.
Yes, come back to read more about our adventures. She is definitely a handful, in a nice way!
I need some mindful meditation exercises in my life… everyone probably does. We all get so distracted (even depressed at times) and weighed down by things out of our control(for the most part) in life.
When things are out of control, its helpful to notice the smallest thing you can control..your breathing, what you watch (try visualization) or mindful walking. Thanks for reading!
I love incorprating Mindfulness into my daily life – so beneficial. You explain it so well – especially using the walk with Jill to illustrate it.
It’s a good idea to try to do some mindfulness everyday. Thanks for reading!
This is such a great story to read! I agree, we have to remember about deep breathing to release toxins and any pressure from our body!
Thanks for reading!
Mindfulness is something that I have been REALLY struggling with lately. I have so much on my mind that it’s so hard to shut the thoughts out. Thanks for the tips.
I hope it helps! Thanks for reading.
oh my cousin does this! I think it’s a much needed thing these days!
wow, what a great read! glad she seems to be doing better ❤
I loved the part about the snail. 😀
I need to be more aware and focused on being mindful and in the moment. I multitask too much instead of slowing my mind down. Btw I’m loving this series about you and Jill.
I am enjoying the journey!
Great post! Jill is very fortunate that she decided to become more mindful in her life! Congratulations to you for helping her find her inner peace!
Lots of aha moments in this post! I especially like you can’t assume we here somebody is going just because of the direction they’re in. They might be taking the scenic route. We’re too consumed with what others are doing, thinking that it has something to do with us. We judge people right away for what we see in the outside. And it’s true, your illness and should I add your mistakes does not define who you are. Thanks for this post.
This sounds so familiar. I used to think like Jill until I discovered the gift of meditation and deep breathing.
I love this! As a high school student I didn’t realize everyone had their own burden. Now as a teacher it is so much easier to see everyone’s burden and that we must find a way to carry our burdens in a healthy way. Love being mindful and using this technique.
Mindfulness is such a powerful thing. Great post.
I love the comment about the snail carrying the burden but still moves on great analogy. I have been learning more about mindfulness as well. It seems very promising. So far I love it what a great practice.
I was introduced to mindfulness about a decade ago.
Deep breathing exercises and watching dogs play at the park are two of my favorite ways to destress!
Such a great story. It is so important to practice mindfulness now more than ever
Thank you for sharing. Such an important topic.
I don’t practice this regularly, but it always helps me get back on track with life. Maybe if I kept doing it consistently because I wanted to, I wouldn’t have to keep going back to it because I have to.
Great mindfulness! You have nailed it 🙂
Great insight, and especially timely right now. I struggle to stay in the present; I’m usually thinking about what I need to do and how I’m going to do it. I just need to slow down and look around!
Mindfulness is such a positive influence in your life. Well done.
It is so important to stay in the present and often hard to do. Practicing mindfulness is such a powerful thing to help with all the negative thoughts running through my mind.
Wow. Lots to think about in your article. Great job.
I need to practice mindfulness more. I can feel my anxiety bubbling up due to world events and I need to keep it in check. Thank you for this.
I am so glad you were to help Jill, “just because you have an illness, it shouldn’t define who you are.” Lots of individuals need to hear this in order to change mindset.
Some good things to start to practice during this time in our world!
Life is breath. You come into the world with an inhale & leave on an exhale. How we choose to breathe in between those moments can make or break you.
Such a wonderful developing story! I love taking the scenic route too sometimes. 🙂
I love everything about this post! Mindfulness is such a powerful tool!
I have very much enjoyed this series! I think you really got through to Jill, and thank goodness you did!!
I appreciate this post a lot – I need to work on my mindfulness especially staying away from my own negative thoughts.
Thank you for the tips in this post. I forget that exercise and deep breathing is good for our minds too. I need to get in a regular pattern of exercise.
Mindfulness is such a power thing. Thank you for sharing.