Mark 12:31 “The second is this:‘Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.”
The other day I was stumbling around YouTube and ran across a sermon conducted by Pastor Michael Todd out in Tulsa Oklahoma. He was doing a friendship series and mentioned Mark 12:31. Now, I’ve heard and read this passage of scripture many times and have heard preachers sermonize on loving your neighbor. What Pastor Mike touched on (and I totally agree) is that we can’t love our neighbor because we don’t know how to love ourselves. Yeah, I said and I’ll say it again for emphasis: We can’t love our neighbor because we don’t know how to fully love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we forgive our mistakes, we forgive lapses in judgement, we forgive our untruths (as my kids say), we stop the self-doubt and we stop the guilt. When we finally love ourselves, we then would know how to truly love our neighbors.
You’re sitting there right now saying I wonder who’s she talking to? This post can’t be for me. Yes, it is Boo! It’s for you because I want you to forgive yourself for lying to your husband when you said the baby was his. Forgive yourself for that abortion you had in high school and for the one you had in college. Forgive yourself for cheating on your wife when she went to see about her sick mother. Forgive yourself for lying to your boss about why you missed work. Forgive yourself for the lustful thoughts you have about your neighbor’s wife and husband. You can forgive yourself because if you’ve prayed to God for forgiveness; it has indeed been granted and cast in the sea of forgiveness.
Let me break it down a little further because I know my brother is reading this. When you ask God for forgiveness,you will be forgiven; then you need to forgive yourself. Put your hand on your own forehead and say, “Self! I forgive you for….!” Now that you are forgiven, you need to forgive the offenses (real or perceived) of your neighbors. Once you have forgiven them, you can move on to loving them as you love yourself. A hard task, I know, but the alternative isn’t that much better either.
I don’t consider myself a Theologian by any stretch of the word and to be honest, I don’t go to church or read my bible nearly as often as I should. I was raised in a Baptist church and as I grew older, the only church I attended with any regularity was Bedside Baptist. When I had kids, I started attending a real church on a regular basis and now I make it a point to find a home church whenever I move to a new city. Did it take having kids to bring me back to church? No, I think I would’ve came home eventually because I was raised by Proverbs 22:6 standards: “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” So even though there was a season in my life that I didn’t attend church regularly, I did my best to live a God-centered life that included prayer and studying the bible.
Back then, my God-centered life was led by the Golden Rule: Matthew 7:12, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” As kids, we best remember this scripture as “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Of course there’s nothing wrong with this piece of scripture; nothing at all. What we fail to realize is that not everyone lives by the Golden Rule and when they ‘go off script’ we get in our feelings and forget all about Mark 12:31. Sooooo, how’s that working for us?
If your life is anything like mine, you’ll get in your feelings when someone does you wrong and doesn’t abide by the Golden Rule. We think it’s natural for us to get upset and stop dealing with this person. We say stuff like, “He lied to me, so I’m through with this crap.” “She talked about me behind my back, so I’m not talking to her anymore” “He gambled away the light bill, so I’m leaving him.” Ya’ll know we’re quick to say, “Deuces! Don’t let the doorknob hit you! See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!”
Maybe it’s just me who says such things when I feel wronged. I’m quick to end a relationship if I feel wronged or negated in anyway. The sad thing is that I don’t think I’m alone. Uncle Ray couldn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner because he & dad “had words”. Monica and her mom haven’t talked in 4 years; the poor woman don’t even know she has a grandson. Rodger and Lorraine fell out because he took their mom’s toaster to sell for drugs. Yeah, a relationship ended because of a toaster? So the cycle continues. We live marginally or less than our potential because we refuse to love our neighbor as we love ourselves OR we refuse to love ourselves as much as God loves us.
My friend, I know we all fall short of the glory of God; we do things we shouldn’t, say things we shouldn’t, go places we shouldn’t, think things we shouldn’t; but yet, our Good Father forgives and grants us another time to get it right. How about this time, we get this right?
Just like an athlete who practices his sport, an orator who practices her speeches or a kid who practices his soccer drills; the more they practiced, they better they became. Some athletes go on to be Olympic medalist, orators go on to win Nobel prizes and soccer players go on to win World Cups. Let us practice loving our neighbors repeatedly so that we become experts. Let’s practice kindness, compassion, patience, forgiveness and honor with ourselves and our neighbors, so that we can secure the ultimate prize of being seated at the feet of the Father and have Him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant, well done.”
To make this a bit more practical, here are 5 ways to pump up our ‘self-love’ muscles:
- Pray & ask God to help you in this area
- Start a gratitude journal
- Replace the negative self talk with positive affirmations
- Surrounds yourself with positive people
- Develop a hobby & stick with it
Forget finding Waldo, let’s find Mark (12:31)!
Cheers!!
Great posts! I love any message that’s rooted in the Word. But, what about for those situations and people that do not deserve a pass, or access to our life after slighting us in a major way. What do you do when it is time to walk away or “throw up the deuces” like you said? It’s a constant inner battle for a young adult like myself. In social media culture, one wrong like or comment can get you unfriended, blocked, and deleted in a matter of seconds.
Good point Lyric. Throwing up “deuces” is sometimes necessary, but that doesn’t mean you stop loving the person. It means you set healthy boundaries for yourself. That’s a topic for another post. Stay tuned!